Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Hi all,

As you can tell by the silence in blog world, things have been very busy indeed. I am postulating on various issues of the universe.

1) Did Barnes Wallis get his idea for the dambuster bombs by watching old ridge tiles bounce
down a slate roof, smashing everything in their path?

2) Fallen trees do make remarkable traffic calming devices.

3) Why does water pouring in the roof make it's way to the ceiling where the newest plaster is
and then make it's way through staining everything in it's path a shitty brown colour ?

4) Am I looking forward to Wullie the plasterer moving back into the house to repair the
plaster he has just repaired? Will he make it on X factor?Is the world ready for him? Is
Simon Cowell?

5) After a week long wait, why does the roofer appear the minute you step unto the bath?

6) In a fight between a remote controlled tank and an old pit bull, the dog will win every time.

7) Did the guy who wrote the exorcist get the pane of glass through the neck idea by watching
the roof come off the football stadium next door and float into his garden with all the precision
of Fatima throwing a javelin. Or sneezing out a cockroach?

8) Did Mr Baum get his idea for the Wizard of Oz by watching next door's hut being lifted up and
spun across the garden? In Glasgow?

9) Everytime I start to do this, another email comes through. I have interesting things in the
pipeline that I'll tell you about tomorrow as another email has just popped through!




  1. My master makes me watch a lot of silly horror films and thinks the pane through the neck came from The Omen. He remembers drawing the various death scenes in art class and yet was never committed. He left art behind after 2nd year and hasn't looked back since. Probably in case the men in white coats are still after him.

  2. Indeed! You are right. I was thinking about Gregory Peck... was that the Omen?? Old Spice Music and rotweillers? Lee Remick and a squeaky wheel??