Friday, 24 August 2012

day six and still counting


It was a kind of normal day today. Well normal for me. The main talk  amongst the patients was Anders Breivik, his 'sane' verdict had just come through this morning. Opinions range from he's obviously mad as  a sane person would never do that to.. it really doesn't matter if he is sane or not just lock him up. But we hope that will be an end to it all, he's another manipulating psychopath and the Norwegian courts have done a great job in not allowing him the space to spout his right wing views. And the relatives of the victims have been so dignified in their grief. It makes me think that revenge is not part of their psyche, but justice is.

Meanwhile Peter Robinson ( tall, well built, slightly balding) was on the TV this morning, I missed it but he was on at Harrogate when I was there, wearing a very nice leather jacket on stage.  He was on late at night and I  was tired and my contacts lens were a bit  fusty. The next day,  I was  in the lift of the holiday inn, and in gets  a man, ( tall, well built, slightly balding ) with a very nice leather jacket on. Oh I thought, I am standing in the lift with Peter Robinson. We walked across the foyer together, he let me go through the revolving doors first.  Then we did that embarrassing thing of walking stride for stride .. going to the same destination about ten minutes away ( the swan hotel in Harrogate - famous for being the hotel that the Sainted Agatha did a runner to).  I asked him if he was enjoying Harrogate, he paused before saying  'yes'.
 I asked him if he enjoyed the event yesterday. There was a pause and he said 'yes'
 By this time I was thinking that he might be very hung over.
I started again by commenting on the nice flowers in the ornamental gardens  as we strolled past, still stride for stride. There was a long pause, he looked at the gardens, then said 'yes'.
At this point I concluded he was deaf, there was just that pause when somebody hard of hearing computes what they have heard compared to what they thought they heard.
I said Harrogate was very twee.
 He asked me what Twee meant.
I realised that not only was he not Peter Robinson, he was not even English.
 He explained that he was a Norwegian Translator- he translated Me ( he recognised me  and he had known who I was from the minute he got in the lift) He did George Pelicanos and Dennis Lehane. And he  translates Peter Robinson. 'he is a good pal, ' He explained, 'yesterday, on stage he borrowed my jacket.'
At one o'clock that morning, he was very drunk, as was my German editor, trying to do the quiz and arguing about what kind of dog  Columbo had. It was Pythonesque!.. I know - do you?

Came home to HWMBI reliving his mis spent youth by watching The Tomorrow People on DVD with the cast commentary on, it's hysterical.  If you are too young to know who The Tomorrow People are, just think of Dr Who  made by the cooncil  with special effects by John Noakes and Shep.  Shep being the talented one at the sticky back plastic. In this exciting episode-  the Klu Kluz Klan are  drilling to the centre of the earth as an extra from Sarah Brightman's video for  'I lost my heart to a star ship trooper' is trying to stop them. I think they want to take over the world or jump the methadone queue or something. Maybe they are trying to find an adult to use the scissors.  At the moment a girl wearing pants and thigh length leather boots is smoking a hubble bubble pipe with far too much blusher on ( the girl not the pipe but the show  is lit like 1972 Top of the pops all halogen green and pork pie pink), What has she to do with the actual plot? No idea.   Don't think the writers had much idea either.

Going to cheer myself up by editing the book and flinging a dead body off the rest and be thankful.  well somebody has too!  For the Americans reading the 'rest and be thankful' is a long slow hill in Argyll,  drilled out the hillside.  It is an ancient drovers road.. and it is Ronseal. It does  what  it says on the tin - you rest and are thankful.


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