Hello World!
Here I am back in touch after the website suffering more technical problems than Apollo 13. I feel like Baldrick .. a very excited person with a special reason to be excited. That's how bad I am at computers ... this sort of stuff is way beyond me. I would do much better on Come Dine with Me. That's just chemistry, bitching and food poisoning. I'm good at all three!
Having said all that, I have been very busy putting the finishing touches to the fourth novel which will be published about 12 months from now. The working title is the Puppeteer or it might be New Blood or it might be whatever Penguin decide to call it!!
I'm also drafting out book 5 and tomorrow I am missing all my friends at Weegie Wednesday as I am lurking around the backstreets of the West End looking for pokey places to stick dead bodies. Determined not to get stuck in a skip this time.
The big news for those that attend my events is that the building site I live in now has ... heating, floors and wait for it ... flushing toilets ... again I am excited as an excited person etc etc etc. I have done a little research into the nature of the talented but excitable beast that is The Plasterer. I believe their natural domain is in the pub and that they live, when in the wild, on a diet of kebabs and irn bru with occasional alcoholic libation for medicinal purposes. In captivity or indeed in the area that needs plastered, they are rarely seen. In my case The Plasterer was quite domesticated, used to being kept in captivity but howled constantly for his release in a rather superb operatic tenor. Personally I think he should audition for The X Factor, no autotuner needed for him. We nearly needed an ambulance for him when he and the resident Pit Bull had a minor altercation. The Plasterer 0 Pit Bull 3. The dog was playing on its home ground, always an advantage.
More blogging next week. I'm away now to walk across my new floors ... much easier than jumping the gaps, believe me.
Caro
Tuesday, 18 January 2011
Wednesday, 29 September 2010
Busy times.
Been up the proverbial back alley with a photographer for the Daily Record. I am worried that I now find standing in a puddle in the pouring rain, arms out as if I am about to have a shoot out at dawn through the saloon doors of the OK corral, as my natural pose.
Two weeks ago I was on STV's The Hour with Michelle and Stephen. Scary! And the scariest thing was there was no run through or previous meeting or discussion of questions - what you see is what happened - exactly. So, when interviewed by Mark Lawson of Radio 4 you kind of know what you are going to be asked ie something about writing, hopefully. But with Michelle? - it could be "so you're a crimewriter, is that noe great. " How do you answer that? "Aye, next question please."
And then somebody pointed out that I am the dead spit of Eva Peron. I then found out he has since been operated on for an eye problem, no kidding, get better soon Dave! No doubt when he gets a bit better he'll tell me that I look like J K Rowling's big sister.
Then we were off the Milngavie - Fish N' Chips night with champagne - well chip butties and Irn Bru in my case. I was there with Shirley McKay and Gary Moffat (G I Moffat as he is on the cover of his books) and we were dutifully chaired by my favourite QC Len Murray.
At this event 200 fish suppers - this is fish and chips wrapped together in a wee greasy parcel for anybody reading this who isn't a Scot - are delivered from the local chippie. The award winning fish shop closes for half an hour and they get frying as if they are on steroids. The suppers arrived hot but 20 minutes late so us four had to ad lib for a full 20 minutes, at one point we were interviewing each other and then we were asking questions to the audience.
It was also Weegie Wednesday. The award winning short story writer who I confess I thought was a poet but there you go, Donal McLaughlin and I went out with Deborah Niven, who writes stories about moles - all moles are spies - and a German academic who lives in Switzerland and has just written a crime novel. Interesting stuff and a keen observation: so what are the Swiss passionate about I asked? Anything they are good at - pause - unlike the Scots who are passionate about all things they are bad at.... which is just as well... he added in a tutonic kind of way. I found myself thinking of Josef Fritzel. Wolfgang, Wolfie to his pals, was no doubt presented with whisky, tartan and a piece of Harris tweed. But we went one better and in the interests of understanding within the European Union, we gave him Irn Bru, tablet, a macaroon bar and a dictionary of Glaswegian slang. Poor man.
Meanwhile due to an oversight of the greatest PA in the world, I was actually dirving in the muppet mobile with no valid MOT as a lovely policeman pointed out on the A91 in St Andrews. He was very kind and drew directions how to get to the Kincardine Bridge in the dirt on the bonnet. He asked me what I was doing driving about at three in the morning with no real sense of direction. I explained I had been to see Sweet Charity at the Byre Theatre. He shook his head saying that he didn't know any of those songs. I gave him a few bars of Hey Big Spender. He told me to go on my way.
Subsequent visit to the local cop shop to display correct documentation was very interesting with a very drunk lady flat out on a bench - indeed rather well dressed drunk lady - gayly urinating all over the floor. It was the middle of the afternoon. The cops were great in understatement "watch your feet as you go miss" he said.
In the spare three minutes I have I am writing a piece for Red Herring on the collective noun for crime writers - I'm rather fond of a 'denouement'. Indeed my denouement for this blog is I have passed my exam. I have no idea of what letters I get after my name now but I kind of like Diploma in Forensic Medicine - DipiFormed.
Been up the proverbial back alley with a photographer for the Daily Record. I am worried that I now find standing in a puddle in the pouring rain, arms out as if I am about to have a shoot out at dawn through the saloon doors of the OK corral, as my natural pose.
Two weeks ago I was on STV's The Hour with Michelle and Stephen. Scary! And the scariest thing was there was no run through or previous meeting or discussion of questions - what you see is what happened - exactly. So, when interviewed by Mark Lawson of Radio 4 you kind of know what you are going to be asked ie something about writing, hopefully. But with Michelle? - it could be "so you're a crimewriter, is that noe great. " How do you answer that? "Aye, next question please."
And then somebody pointed out that I am the dead spit of Eva Peron. I then found out he has since been operated on for an eye problem, no kidding, get better soon Dave! No doubt when he gets a bit better he'll tell me that I look like J K Rowling's big sister.
Then we were off the Milngavie - Fish N' Chips night with champagne - well chip butties and Irn Bru in my case. I was there with Shirley McKay and Gary Moffat (G I Moffat as he is on the cover of his books) and we were dutifully chaired by my favourite QC Len Murray.
At this event 200 fish suppers - this is fish and chips wrapped together in a wee greasy parcel for anybody reading this who isn't a Scot - are delivered from the local chippie. The award winning fish shop closes for half an hour and they get frying as if they are on steroids. The suppers arrived hot but 20 minutes late so us four had to ad lib for a full 20 minutes, at one point we were interviewing each other and then we were asking questions to the audience.
It was also Weegie Wednesday. The award winning short story writer who I confess I thought was a poet but there you go, Donal McLaughlin and I went out with Deborah Niven, who writes stories about moles - all moles are spies - and a German academic who lives in Switzerland and has just written a crime novel. Interesting stuff and a keen observation: so what are the Swiss passionate about I asked? Anything they are good at - pause - unlike the Scots who are passionate about all things they are bad at.... which is just as well... he added in a tutonic kind of way. I found myself thinking of Josef Fritzel. Wolfgang, Wolfie to his pals, was no doubt presented with whisky, tartan and a piece of Harris tweed. But we went one better and in the interests of understanding within the European Union, we gave him Irn Bru, tablet, a macaroon bar and a dictionary of Glaswegian slang. Poor man.
Meanwhile due to an oversight of the greatest PA in the world, I was actually dirving in the muppet mobile with no valid MOT as a lovely policeman pointed out on the A91 in St Andrews. He was very kind and drew directions how to get to the Kincardine Bridge in the dirt on the bonnet. He asked me what I was doing driving about at three in the morning with no real sense of direction. I explained I had been to see Sweet Charity at the Byre Theatre. He shook his head saying that he didn't know any of those songs. I gave him a few bars of Hey Big Spender. He told me to go on my way.
Subsequent visit to the local cop shop to display correct documentation was very interesting with a very drunk lady flat out on a bench - indeed rather well dressed drunk lady - gayly urinating all over the floor. It was the middle of the afternoon. The cops were great in understatement "watch your feet as you go miss" he said.
In the spare three minutes I have I am writing a piece for Red Herring on the collective noun for crime writers - I'm rather fond of a 'denouement'. Indeed my denouement for this blog is I have passed my exam. I have no idea of what letters I get after my name now but I kind of like Diploma in Forensic Medicine - DipiFormed.
Monday, 6 September 2010
Hello!!
Lots happening as you can imagine.
Next week I have an event with Alex Gray at Dunfermline Waterstones on Wednesday 8th. Even if you don't like either of us, there is a glass of wine on offer!!
Even better is the champagne at the Fish, Chips and Champagne night on Sunday 12th with Gary Moffat and Shirley McKay, that is always a really good event. Last year there was nearly an impromptu performance by Denise Mina, Karen Campbell and myself doing the Nolan sisters ( but not quite so shiney and much more sweary).
Then I'm doing something for the Daily Record midweek .. apart from that, finishing touches to book four and starting book five....my time is my own.
I've never done so much publicity for a book before... got lost in Clydebank trying to find radio Clyde, been mistaken for somebody who appeared on X factor, ended up giving the DJ a giggling fit on Radio Manx, claimed I wrote Atonement in the Sun ( I didn't - I wrote Absolution but I got the train of thought the journalist was obviously on) and was mistaken for a prostitute a certain Glasgow hotel. ... can't work out if that last one was a complement or not.
However, the highlight of the stress was going on STV's The Hour with no rehearsal, no warning, no clues, nae nuffin!!! but in a strange kind of way, it was fun. Stephen and Michelle were great.. that job is a lot harder than it looks, I'd go cross eyed if I had to read auto queue for more than two minutes. But I was on with two border collies looking for a home... and I tried to steal the puppy, it was soooo cute. He was blind and a real wee charmer. But I don't think the bold Emily.. (who is officially the ugliest dog in Glasgow) would have been too chuffed.
For the French and Saunders fans amongst us, do you remember the series of sketches they did about breakfast tv? And what does the queen have mid morning? A hob nob? Well, I couldn't get that out my head while I was sitting on their sofa... I kept thinking.. when do I move?? You know when the guest gets up and the camera catches them leaving rather than being being removed off camera.... or even worse the presenters hand shoots out and they growl 'stay there' out the corner of their mouth. So I made sure my backside was glued to that sofa until I was given the green light to get out the door. eeekkk.
But all the camera crew were laughing... and at one point Stephen Jardine looked a wee bit scared. I considered my job done!
will blog again soon, time allowing
caro
Next week I have an event with Alex Gray at Dunfermline Waterstones on Wednesday 8th. Even if you don't like either of us, there is a glass of wine on offer!!
Even better is the champagne at the Fish, Chips and Champagne night on Sunday 12th with Gary Moffat and Shirley McKay, that is always a really good event. Last year there was nearly an impromptu performance by Denise Mina, Karen Campbell and myself doing the Nolan sisters ( but not quite so shiney and much more sweary).
Then I'm doing something for the Daily Record midweek .. apart from that, finishing touches to book four and starting book five....my time is my own.
I've never done so much publicity for a book before... got lost in Clydebank trying to find radio Clyde, been mistaken for somebody who appeared on X factor, ended up giving the DJ a giggling fit on Radio Manx, claimed I wrote Atonement in the Sun ( I didn't - I wrote Absolution but I got the train of thought the journalist was obviously on) and was mistaken for a prostitute a certain Glasgow hotel. ... can't work out if that last one was a complement or not.
However, the highlight of the stress was going on STV's The Hour with no rehearsal, no warning, no clues, nae nuffin!!! but in a strange kind of way, it was fun. Stephen and Michelle were great.. that job is a lot harder than it looks, I'd go cross eyed if I had to read auto queue for more than two minutes. But I was on with two border collies looking for a home... and I tried to steal the puppy, it was soooo cute. He was blind and a real wee charmer. But I don't think the bold Emily.. (who is officially the ugliest dog in Glasgow) would have been too chuffed.
For the French and Saunders fans amongst us, do you remember the series of sketches they did about breakfast tv? And what does the queen have mid morning? A hob nob? Well, I couldn't get that out my head while I was sitting on their sofa... I kept thinking.. when do I move?? You know when the guest gets up and the camera catches them leaving rather than being being removed off camera.... or even worse the presenters hand shoots out and they growl 'stay there' out the corner of their mouth. So I made sure my backside was glued to that sofa until I was given the green light to get out the door. eeekkk.
But all the camera crew were laughing... and at one point Stephen Jardine looked a wee bit scared. I considered my job done!
will blog again soon, time allowing
caro
Thursday, 15 July 2010
HI,
here's the cover of the new book!! Looks good, the first reviews are all fab and the grand launch is in Glasgow Waterstone's, Sauchiehall Street on 4th August .... that's a Wednesday!!
Usual mayhem of readings, questions, some stand up comedy .. not always intentional and jolly good time had by all.
I'm pressing on with book four - squeezing it in between interviews and photographs.
I'll try to blog properly next week... but that's in Harrogate ... where I am being Miss Marple...or Miss Marbles as I call her. And my panel is 'A scotsman, englishman and irishman walk into a pub and write a crime novel'.... discuss.... there is an american refereeing it!
If you want to see more on that, I've been guest blogger on murder is everywhere - and I think mine is posted next week... after Martin Edwards. I think I have proved my point on how great scotland is by one photo of a real rottweiler of a mountain !!
I will try not to mention the world cup while I'm down south. I just won't try very hard...
caro
here's the cover of the new book!! Looks good, the first reviews are all fab and the grand launch is in Glasgow Waterstone's, Sauchiehall Street on 4th August .... that's a Wednesday!!Usual mayhem of readings, questions, some stand up comedy .. not always intentional and jolly good time had by all.
I'm pressing on with book four - squeezing it in between interviews and photographs.
I'll try to blog properly next week... but that's in Harrogate ... where I am being Miss Marple...or Miss Marbles as I call her. And my panel is 'A scotsman, englishman and irishman walk into a pub and write a crime novel'.... discuss.... there is an american refereeing it!
If you want to see more on that, I've been guest blogger on murder is everywhere - and I think mine is posted next week... after Martin Edwards. I think I have proved my point on how great scotland is by one photo of a real rottweiler of a mountain !!
I will try not to mention the world cup while I'm down south. I just won't try very hard...
caro
Saturday, 29 May 2010
The post Bristol blog
Oh well very excited now ... I have been off Penguin visiting this week and with the Theakston's long list coming out it all just winds the tension up even more. There's been a lot of latte!
Can I please kidnap the wondrous Figbane for the penguinettes quiz team next year ... we managed to scrape a third place at Crime fest... by cheating it has to be said. Fortunately, Peter Guttridge, who is a lovely man, has no idea about the Scottish accent and thought I was growling through the quiz in a generally life-threatening way. I was, of course, doing a cash for questions deal with Mike Stotter who was officially banned for being far too good (won it for every year since the meolithic period I think) and just happened to be sitting near me. I think I could wangle the wondrous Figbane an entry pass by disguising him as a haggis. Not that I have met him but judging by his picture and the poor quality of the security at
Crimefest, I think we could just wing it.
Great festival though ... and hello to three scots lads who followed us down to support the writers, always good to have a bit of a home following amongst the lively, but rather intense, Americans. Is it me or do they tend to ... well moan a bit ... well moan a lot ... like there could be world war three going on and they could still moan that they had to wait for a cup of tea. I was just bloody glad somebody else was making the tea for me ... and what is it with Americans and eggs?? Over easy, sunny side up, flipsy floppsy ... it's a chicken's embryo - just eat the bloody thing.
Meanwhile, the glorious Donna Moore has a new book out... 'Old Dogs' - buy it and read it if you don't mind the embarrassment of laughing out loud in public and getting funny looks on the bus. I think Donna could take over breakfast tv, she'd soon get the country forgetting the recession...in a kind of 'You think the recession is bad - you should try my hangover.' Helen do-you-think-anybody-would- notice- if-I-nipped -out- for-a fag Fitzgerald was on good form , great panel on being gruesome, wish she'd been on our 'the use of swearing in a crime novel panel' - she's a expert! I was having sex in the gutter - that was the name of the panel by the way - and being Desmond Bagley on the forgotten authors panel ... I was doing well until that bloody John Buchan came out of nowhere and saved the world in his 39 steps ... tutt ... why does that make me think of Jasper Carrott?? Oh yes ... John Buchan, Richard Hannay, Jesus of Nazareth, Robert Powell, the detectives and Jasper Carrott ... if that confuses you .... the wondrous Figbane will enlighten you ....
if you have not voted yet, do it now...or The Emily will get you.
I think legally, that's threatening behaviour but who cares!
More soon, Caro.
Can I please kidnap the wondrous Figbane for the penguinettes quiz team next year ... we managed to scrape a third place at Crime fest... by cheating it has to be said. Fortunately, Peter Guttridge, who is a lovely man, has no idea about the Scottish accent and thought I was growling through the quiz in a generally life-threatening way. I was, of course, doing a cash for questions deal with Mike Stotter who was officially banned for being far too good (won it for every year since the meolithic period I think) and just happened to be sitting near me. I think I could wangle the wondrous Figbane an entry pass by disguising him as a haggis. Not that I have met him but judging by his picture and the poor quality of the security at
Crimefest, I think we could just wing it.
Great festival though ... and hello to three scots lads who followed us down to support the writers, always good to have a bit of a home following amongst the lively, but rather intense, Americans. Is it me or do they tend to ... well moan a bit ... well moan a lot ... like there could be world war three going on and they could still moan that they had to wait for a cup of tea. I was just bloody glad somebody else was making the tea for me ... and what is it with Americans and eggs?? Over easy, sunny side up, flipsy floppsy ... it's a chicken's embryo - just eat the bloody thing.
Meanwhile, the glorious Donna Moore has a new book out... 'Old Dogs' - buy it and read it if you don't mind the embarrassment of laughing out loud in public and getting funny looks on the bus. I think Donna could take over breakfast tv, she'd soon get the country forgetting the recession...in a kind of 'You think the recession is bad - you should try my hangover.' Helen do-you-think-anybody-would- notice- if-I-nipped -out- for-a fag Fitzgerald was on good form , great panel on being gruesome, wish she'd been on our 'the use of swearing in a crime novel panel' - she's a expert! I was having sex in the gutter - that was the name of the panel by the way - and being Desmond Bagley on the forgotten authors panel ... I was doing well until that bloody John Buchan came out of nowhere and saved the world in his 39 steps ... tutt ... why does that make me think of Jasper Carrott?? Oh yes ... John Buchan, Richard Hannay, Jesus of Nazareth, Robert Powell, the detectives and Jasper Carrott ... if that confuses you .... the wondrous Figbane will enlighten you ....
if you have not voted yet, do it now...or The Emily will get you.
I think legally, that's threatening behaviour but who cares!
More soon, Caro.
Tuesday, 25 May 2010
Vote Ramsay Vote Rankin!!
No I've not gone mad - it's just Theakstons have produced the long list for Crime Book of the year 2009 and only two scots on it are ... my good self and Mr Rankin... i think we should have a coalition at the top of the charts.... for voting and the rest of the list please see....
http://www.theakstons.co.uk/crime3.html
Or google theakstons 'caro ramsay' and you will get there...eventually. I'll be blogging tonight re the Bristol crime fest ....Peter Guttridge's quiz....What was the name of the dog actor in the original film of the hound of the Baskervilles... and for Caro Ramsay... your question is.. just try and spell 'Scooby doo!'
I paraphrase but i think you get the jist!!
Caro
http://www.theakstons.co.uk/crime3.html
Or google theakstons 'caro ramsay' and you will get there...eventually. I'll be blogging tonight re the Bristol crime fest ....Peter Guttridge's quiz....What was the name of the dog actor in the original film of the hound of the Baskervilles... and for Caro Ramsay... your question is.. just try and spell 'Scooby doo!'
I paraphrase but i think you get the jist!!
Caro
Wednesday, 19 May 2010
Beware Zombies on Steroids!
NEWS
Dark Water published 5th August 2010
EVENTS
20-23 May 2010 - Bristol Crimefest
3 June 2010 - Millport Library
22-25 July 2010 - Harrogate Crimefest
You can now get in touch with me on Facebook, or on email at caro.ramsay@ntlworld.com should you want to book me for any events etc.
Hi All,
Well it has been an exciting week - and volcanic ash permitting I think the next two weeks are going to be even better! There has been lots of tooing and froing from publishers to agents and back again. The German publisher of Absolution and Singing to the Dead are buying Dark Water. Indeed the commissioning editor said she wanted to buy it after reading the prologue. Praise indeed. Funny thing is you never know how a book is going to be received until its out there doing the rounds and up for grabs. Penguin, the British publisher, have called me to a meeting in London to discuss the re-packaging and the German publishers are following suit. As long as they don't try and re-package me as Cheryl Cole - far too fond of fried egg rolls to be that thin!
Weegie Wednesday was as interesting as ever ... as usual the speakers provoked much, although unintentional, discussion (we didn't really have a clue what they were going on about so we - at the bar - were just making it up). I think they both have a future career in politics saying a lot and saying nothing at all! But that might be me ... Or maybe just a Glasgow thing - I don't think we do well with words like motivation, action, function, communication, harmonise and facilitate ... much easier just to get on with it. We had a strange little bit at the bar - all to ourselves - it was a bit like middle earth, a weird but glorious sub-culture of extreme violence. Helen Fitzgerald, fab Aussie Glasgow-based crime was telling us about the identity parade of the hacked off penis's (not from personal experience - well I don't THINK from personal experience) while the great 'Will' was talking about mutant babies taking over the world and how this could be prevented. Looking at David Cameron and Nick Clegg I think Will might be too late. There was defo talk of a disembowelled pigeon blowing up St Enoch Centre and should zombies be put on steroids? One for the anti doping lobby there. Seriously though, I had been writing a bit where a female in a forest gets fired at by a sniper. I had her react to something hit the ground beside her... And an ex soldier pulls her into cover - as I thought a normal person would have no idea they were being shot at by a long range sniper - speed of bullet versus speed of sound etc - my editor scribbled - why? Is she deaf? Ex royal marine questioned at bar in middle earth agreed with me and told me technical words like 'bloody scary' and 'shitless'. Maybe the snipers could take on the mutant ninja babies!
Was also at Rutherglen High School -8 pupils decided they wanted to interview me (God help them!) I'm convinced they think I'm related to Gordon Ramsay - at least they asked if I was his sister ... and not if I was his mother! Been asked that before. I explained that I do swear a lot but I'm useless at both football and cooking. I don't think he's too hot at crime writing come to think about it.
The kids are great though. Kids on high octane thought processes with little steering - good on zombies and ideas for body disposal especially for the disposal of the body of the maths teacher sitting at the side of the room. In the end we decided to weight her body down and have her skeletonised by prawns. I used to feel that way about my maths teacher as well.
And last week, we have a new government - mutant shiny people are in charge. Strange thought is that the country was doing very well with nobody in charge. Do you remember Yes Minister - it's all the Sir Humphries that really run things. Personally I always thought Victoria Wood would be rather good at running the country - free duvets for the elderly on the NHS, Hellman's Mayonnaise on prescription and ban anything on the tv with Andrew Lloyd Webber in it or the word celebrity in the title ... apart from celebrity death squad!!
And my pitbull type dog wants to say hello to Figbane! Stripey dogs of the world unite.
So, I am still polishing up on my Desmond Bagley and Duncan Kyle for the crimefest tomorrow - full of plot lines that would not work nowadays with the use of mobile phones.
Going to Bristol means I'm missing Lesley McDowell's launch on Thursday at Waterstones ... all writing women should go!! Google her and see what it is all about. Great stuff.
Caro
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